Comedy Sketch by Wang Sa 王沙 and Ye Fong 野峰
The comedians Wang Sa 王沙 (1924-1998) and Ye Fong 野峰 performed this skit in 1975, in a show to celebrate the tenth anniversary of television broadcasts in Singapore. They used several languages in their performances – Teochew, Cantonese, Mandarin, and English – each of which can be heard here. Teochew is transcribed in both flattened IPA and Peng’im, Mandarin (M) in Hanyu Pinyin, Cantonese (C) in modified Yale, and Hokkien (H) in Peh-oi-ji.
Source: https://youtu.be/JEg_Af-DpUg?t=73
Wang Sa: (M) Gèwèi guānzhòng, rìzǐ guòdé zhēn kuài, wō.
王：【華】各位 觀眾，日子 過得 真快，喔。
Dear viewers, time has indeed flown by quickly.
(M) Xīnjiāpō yǒu diànshì zháyǎn zhījiān ne yǐjīng yǒu shí nián le.
【華】新加坡 有 電視 眨眼之間 呢 已經 有 十年 了。
In a blink of an eye, it has already been ten years since television came to Singapore.
(M) Jīntiān wǎnshàng de shí-zhōunián jìniàn wǒmén néng yǒu zhège jīhuì gēn dàjiā jiànmiàn, wǒ juédé fēicháng de gāoxìng hé róngxìng.
【華】今天 晚上 的 十週年 紀念 我們 能有 這個 機會 跟 大家 見面，我 覺得 非常 的 高興 和 榮幸。
We are extremely happy and honored to have this opportunity to come before everybody this evening on this tenth anniversary celebration.
Ye Fong: Ladies and gentlemen, Singapore have a TV ten years ago. And tonight I have a chance join this a special show, I very very happy. I…
W: lɔːy̯²¹ t͡siː²² tɯŋ¹¹ sũã³³ oi¹¹ tã⁵⁵ aŋ¹¹ mo³³ a
W: Lòih-jih Deng5(7)suan1 oi6(7) dan3(5) ang5(7)mo1 a?
王：來自 唐山 會 呾 紅毛 啊？
[You], coming from China, are able to speak English?
lòih-jih– Cantonese
ǎngmo – lit. ‘red-haired’, a Westerner; in this context referring to the English language
Y: seŋ³³ kia³³ po³³ naŋ⁵⁵ mai⁵² tã²¹³ aŋ¹¹ mo⁵⁵ / huaʔ⁵ kok⁵ ue¹¹ a¹¹ oi¹¹ tã²¹³ a
Y: Sêng1gia1bo1 nang5 mai3(2)dan3 ang5(7)mo1, huah4(8)gog4(8)uê7 a7 oi6(7) dan3 a
野：新加坡 儂 莫呾 紅毛，法國話 也 會 呾 啊。
Singaporeans can not only speak English, they can even speak French.
tsʰuaŋ¹¹ si⁵² kai²¹³ lo⁵⁵ tsai³³ seŋ³³ kia³³ po³³ naŋ⁵⁵ gɯ²⁵ ŋaŋ⁵⁵ tiaŋ³³ tsʰai⁵⁵ si¹¹ ik⁵ liu⁵⁵ kai¹¹ / bo¹¹ tã⁵² sɯŋ⁵² kai¹¹
Cuang5(7)-si3(2)gai3 lo5 zai1 Sêng1gia1bo1-nang5 ghe2(6)ngang5 tiang1cai5 si6(7) ig4(8)liu5 gai7, bho5(7) dan3(2) seng2 gai7.
全世界 囉 知 新加坡 儂 語言 天才 是 一流 個， 無 呾 耍 個。
The whole world knows that Singaporeans have a genius for language. I’m not kidding around.
W: si¹¹ ua⁵² tã²¹³ / kĩã³³ lɯ⁵² kai¹¹ aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ ue¹¹ tã⁵² tsʰuk⁵ lai¹¹ kʰau⁵² liaŋ¹¹ gua¹¹ kok⁵ naŋ⁵⁵ a boi¹¹ hiau²⁵ tʰĩã³³
W: Si6(7) ua2 dan3, gian1 le2 gai5(7) ang5(7)mo5(7)-uê7 dan3(2) cug4(8)lai5(7) kao2 liang6(7) ghua7gog4(8)-nang5 a bhoi6(7)hiau2(6) tian1.
王：是 我 呾， 驚 汝 個 紅毛語 呾 出來 口 連 外國 儂 也 𠁞曉 聽。
I’m afraid that the English that comes out of your mouth may not even be understood by English people.
Y: boi¹¹ hiau²⁵ tĩã³³
Y: Bhoi6(7)hiau2(6) tian1?
野：𠁞曉 聽？
Not understood?
lɯ⁵² tõĩ⁵² gua¹¹ kok¹ pʰeŋ¹¹ iu⁵² tak² kai¹¹ kʰũã⁵² ua⁵² tieʔ² tsʰie²¹³
Le2 toin2 ghua7gog4 pêng5(7)iu2 dag8(4) gai5(7) kuan3(2) ua2 diêh8(4) ciê3.
汝 睇 外國 朋友 逐個 觀 我 着 笑。
Just watch – our foreign friends all laugh when they see me.
i³³ lo⁵⁵ sĩẽ¹¹ i³³ kai¹¹ aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ ue¹¹ a¹¹ su³³ ua¹¹ a
I1 lo5 siên6(7) i1-gai5(7) ang5(7)mo5(7)-uê7 a7 su1 ua2(7) a.
伊 囉 想 伊個 紅毛語 也 輸 我 啊。
They are all thinking that their English is poorer than mine.
W: (M) Yǒu zhème lìhài a?
王：【華】有 這麼 厲害 啊？
Are you that formidable?
to¹¹ tsi²⁵ ko²¹³ lɯ⁵² kã⁵² tã⁵² aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ ue¹¹
Do6(7) zi2(6)go3 le2 gan2 dan3(2) ang5(7)mo5(7)-uê7?
在 只塊 汝 敢 呾 紅毛語？
You dare to speak English here?
Y: kã⁵² tso⁵² ni⁵⁵ a
Y: Gan2 zo3(2)ni5 a?
敢 做呢 啊？
What do you mean?
W: e / ti²⁵ a / lɯ⁵² oi¹¹ tã²¹³ aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ ue¹¹ / ua⁵² lai¹¹ muŋ¹¹ lɯ⁵²
W: Ê, di6 a, le2 oi6(7) dan3(2) ang5(7)mo5(7)-uê7, ua2 lai5(7) mung7 le2.
E，弟 啊，汝 會 呾 紅毛語，我 來 問 汝。
Hey brother, if you can speak English, let me ask you.
X kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³ kai¹¹ / lɯ⁵² ek² oi¹¹ tsʰuk⁵ a³³ boi²⁵
? gang2(6)duan1 gai7. Le2 êg8(4) oi6(7) cuk4(8) a-bhoi6?
～ 簡單 個。汝 譯 會出 呀𠁞？
Something simple – can you translate it?
Y: oi²⁵
Y: Oi6!
會！
Sure!
Any time, don’t worry, go ahead. What you like to speak, you speak. You talk also can.
W: u¹¹ ĩã⁵² bo⁵⁵
W: U6(7) ian2 bho5?
王：有影無？
Are you serious?
Y: Ya!
W: Okay / kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³ / kʰui³³ mɯŋ⁵⁵ kie⁵² ti¹¹ kai³³
W: Okay. Gang2(6)duan1, kui1meng5 gie3(2) di7gai1?
王：Okay。簡單，開門 叫 哋個？
Okay, simple. How do you translate “open the door?”
Y: u⁵² pe²⁵ / a³³ nou⁵⁵ tsʰuk⁵ si²¹³ tsiu¹¹ oi²⁵ liau²¹³ ma³³ / Open the door
Y: Ua2 bê6, a1nou5 cuk4(8)si3 ziu6(7) oi6 liao3 ma1… “Open the door.”
野：我爸，阿奴 出世 就會 了 嗎⋯⋯ “Open the door.”
Man, even a baby could do that. “Open the door.”
W: kũẽ³³ mɯŋ⁵⁵
W: Guên1 meng5?
王：關門？
“Shut the door?”
Y: Shut the door.
W: pũã⁵⁵ kʰui³³ pũã⁵⁵ kũẽ³³
W: Buan3(5)-kui1 buan3(5)-guen1?
王：半開 半關？
“Half-open, half-shut?”
Y: ua⁵² pe²⁵ / ãĩ⁵² kʰui³³ tsiu¹¹ kʰui³³ ãĩ⁵² kũẽ³³ tsiu¹¹ kũẽ³³ / mueʔ² ka⁵² tsik² pũã²¹³ tsik² pũã²¹³ ge³³
Y: Ua2-bê6! Ain3(2)-kui1 ziu6(7)-kui1 ain3(2)-guên1 ziu6(7)-guên1, muêh8(4)ga3(2) zig8(4)buan3 zig8(4)buan3 ghê1!
野：我爸！愛開 就開，愛關 就關，物～ 一半一半 ～！
Man! If you want to open it, open it. If you want to close it, close it. What is this half-and-half?!
W: kʰui³³ mɯŋ⁵⁵ ua⁵² ma¹¹ oi²⁵ / kũẽ³³ mɯŋ⁵⁵ ua⁵² ma¹¹ oi²⁵ / pũã⁵⁵ kʰui³³ pũã⁵⁵ kũẽ³³ lɯ⁵² tsiu¹¹ boi²⁵
W: Kui1meng5 ua2 ma7 oi6, guên1meng5 ua2 ma7 oi6, buan3(5)-kui1 buan3(5)-guên1 le2 ziu6(7) bhoi6.
王：開門 我 嘛 會，關門 我 嘛 會，半開 半關 汝 是𠁞 𠁞。
I also know how to say “open the door” and “shut the door”, but it is you who can’t translate “half-open half-shut”.
Y: tsi⁵² kai¹¹ mo²⁵ si¹¹ tɯŋ¹¹ naŋ⁵⁵ tã²¹³ kai⁵⁵ / aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ naŋ⁵⁵ bo¹¹ tã⁵² tsi⁵² sẽ³³ / aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ naŋ⁵⁵ ãĩ²¹³ tsiu¹¹ ãĩ²¹³ / mai²¹³ tsiu¹¹ mai²¹³ / Mana u¹¹ tsik² pũã²¹³ tsik² pũã²¹³
Y: Zi2gai5(7) mo2(6)si6(7) Deng5(7)nang5 dan3-gai5, ang5(7)mo5(7)-nang5 bho5(7) dan3(2) zi2sên1, ang5(7)mo5(7)-nang5 ain3-ziu6(7)-ain3, mai3-ziu6(7)-mai3. Mana u7 zig8(4)buan3 zig8(4)buan3?
野：只個 莫是 唐儂 呾個，紅毛儂 無 呾 這生，紅毛儂 愛就愛 勿就勿。Mana 有 一半 一半？
This is something that only a Chinese would say. English people would never say something like this. If they want to do something, they do it, if they don’t want to, then they don’t do it. When would they ever do it halfway?
mana – Malay, “where”; the expression “mana u6?” is probably the origin of the Singlish “where got?”
W: si¹¹ lɯ⁵² boi¹¹ hiau²⁵ ek⁵ no¹¹
W: Si6(7) le2 bhoi6(7)hiao2(6) êg8 no7.
王：是 汝 𠁞曉 譯 𰇇。
You just don’t know how to translate it.
Y: ŋẽ¹¹ ãĩ⁵² ek⁵
Y: Ngê6(7) ain3(2) êg8.
野：硬 愛 譯。
I insist.
W: oi²⁵ boi²⁵
W: Oi6 bhoi6?
王：會𠁞？
Can you?
Y: oi²⁵ / Mana boi²⁵ / “Half open the door, half shut the door.”
Y: Oi6! Mana bhoi6? “Half open the door, half shut the door.”
野：會！Mana 𠁞？“Half open the door, half shut the door.”
Of course, why not? “Half open the door, half shut the door.”
mana – see above
W: tieʔ⁵ m¹¹ tieʔ⁵
W: Diêh8-m6(7)-diêh8?
王：着 唔 着？
Are you sure?
Y: tieʔ⁵ la³³ / m¹¹ tieʔ⁵ i³³ naŋ¹¹ oi¹¹ tsʰie²¹³
Y: Diêh8 la1. M6(7)-diêh8 i1-nang5(7) oi6(7) ciê3?
野：着 啦。唔着 伊儂 會 笑？
Yes it’s correct. If it’s wrong, why would they [the audience] laugh?
a³³ si¹¹ m¹¹ tieʔ⁵ i³³ naŋ¹¹ tsiu¹¹ “woo!” / oi¹¹ tsʰie²¹³ tsiu¹¹ si¹¹ “good!” / Okay.
A-si6(7) m6(7)-diêh8 i1-nang5(7) ziu6(7) “woo!” Oi6(7) ciê3 ziu6(7)si6(7) “good!” Okay.
a 是 唔 着 伊儂 就 “woo”！會 笑 就是 “good”！Okay
If it was wrong they would boo. Since they laugh it must be good. Okay.
W: tsio⁵² sẽ³³ tã²¹³ / lɯ⁵² si¹¹ niam¹¹ gɯ²⁵ ŋaŋ¹¹ kai¹¹ tiaŋ³³ tsʰai⁵⁵ a
W: Zio3(2)sên1 dan3, le2 si6(7) niam7 ghe2(6)ngang5(7) gai5(7) tiang1cai5 a?
王：這生 呾，汝 是 念 語言 個 天才 啊？
If you say so, does this mean that you are a genius with languages?
thiang – literary pronunciation; vernacular is thih
Y: ua⁵² si¹¹ huaŋ³³ naŋ⁵⁵ tsuaŋ³³ ke³³
Y: Ua2 si6(7) huang1nang5 zuang1gê1.
野：我 是 凡人 裝假。
I’m just a normal person who pretends to be.
W: ai⁵² ia²⁵
W: Ai2-ia6?
Y: naŋ⁵² seŋ³³ kia³³ po³³ ne⁵⁵ / si¹¹ do³³ ŋuaŋ⁵⁵ tsong²⁵ tsok⁵ kai¹¹ sia¹¹ hue²⁵
Y: Nang2 Sêng1gia1bo1 nê5, si6(7) do1nguang5 zong2(6)zog8 gai5(7) sia6(7)huê6.
野：俺 新加坡 ne，是 多元 種族 個 社會。
Our Singapore is a multi-ethnic society.
tsik² kai¹¹ naŋ⁵⁵ a³³ nou⁵⁵ tsik² kai¹¹ tsʰuk⁵ si²¹³ kau⁵⁵ hak² hau²⁵ ne³³ kʰi²⁵ be⁵² si⁵² kʰuaŋ⁵² ue¹¹ tsiu¹¹ oi¹¹ hiau²⁵ tã²¹³ liau²¹³
Zig8(4)gai5(7) nang5 a1nou5 zig8(4)gai5(7) cug4(8)si3 gao3(5) hag8(4)hao6 nê1 ki2(6)bhê2 si3(2) kuang2 uê7 ziu6(7) oi6(7)hiao2(6) dan3 liao3.
一個 儂 阿奴 一個 出世 到 學校 ne 起碼 四款 話 就 會曉 呾 了。
A person, from the time he is a newborn baby to when he goes to school, would be able to speak at least four languages.
kau²⁵ iok⁵ si¹¹ no¹¹ kʰuaŋ⁵² ma³³ / tioŋ³³ eŋ³³ tĩã¹¹ tieʔ⁵
kau-iok si6(7) no6(7) kuang2 ma1: Diong1-Êng1 dian7diêh8.
教育 是 二款 嘛：中英 定着。
Two are from his schooling: Mandarin and English for sure.
kau-iok– Hokkien; ga3(2)iog8 - Teochew pronunciation
kok⁵ gɯ⁵² si¹¹ sã³³ kuaŋ⁵²
Gog4(8)ghe2 si6(7) san1 kuang2.
國語 是 三款。
The national language makes it three.
Kokgeu – In this context refers to the Malay language, the official national language of Singapore.
a³³ pe²⁵ a³³ si¹¹ kɯŋ²⁵ taŋ³³ naŋ⁵⁵ tsiu¹¹ si¹¹ si⁵² kʰuaŋ⁵²
A1-bê6 a-si6(7) Geng2(6)dang1-nang5 ziu6(7) si3(2) kuang2.
阿爸 a 是 廣東儂 就 四款。
If Father is a Cantonese, that makes it four.
a³³ ma⁵⁵ tie¹¹ tsiu³³ naŋ⁵⁵ li²⁵ ŋou¹¹ kʰuaŋ⁵²
A1ma5 Diê5(7)ziu1-nang5 li6 ngou6(7) kuang2.
阿媽 潮州儂 哩 五款。
If Mother is a Teochew then five.
tieʔ2 m¹¹ tieʔ⁵ / si¹¹ tsʰuk⁵ si²¹³ tsiu¹¹ oi²⁵ liau²¹³ / lɯ⁵² meŋ²⁵ gĩã³³ kai⁵⁵
Diêh8(4)-m6(7)-diêh8? Si6(7) cuk4(8)si3 ziu6(7) oi6 liau3, le2 mêng2(6) gian1 gai5.
着唔着？是 出世 就 會 了，汝 免 驚 個。
Isn’t this right? All this from the moment he’s born, don’t worry.
puk⁵ kue²¹³ ne³³ / naŋ⁵² dɯŋ¹¹ naŋ⁵⁵ kai¹¹ ue¹¹ na
Bug4(8)guê3 nê1, nang2 Deng5(7)nang5 gai5(7) uê7 na,
不過 ne，俺 唐儂 個 話 na，
However, the languages of us Chinese people,
u¹¹ kai⁵⁵ ho²⁵ tĩã³³ / u¹¹ kai⁵⁵ ne³³ iou³³ m¹¹ ho²⁵ tĩã³³
u6(7)-gai5 ho2(6)-tian1, u6(7)-gai5 nê1 iou1 m6(7)-ho2(6)-tian1.
有個 好聽，有個 ne 夭 唔好聽。
some are pleasant sounding, while some are not.
u¹¹ kai⁵⁵ lo³³ so³³ / u¹¹ kai⁵⁵ iou³³ boi¹¹ lo³³ so¹¹
U6(7)-gai5 lo1so1, u6(7)-gai5 iou1 bhoi6(7) lo1so1.
有個 囉嗦，有個 夭 𠁞 囉嗦。
Some are long-winded, while some are not.
W: lɯ⁵² kak⁵ tek² si¹¹ miʔ² ue¹¹ ho²⁵ tĩã³³ / si¹¹ miʔ² ue¹¹ m¹¹ ho²⁵ tĩã³³ ne⁵⁵
W: Le2 gag4(8)dêg4 si6(7)mih4 uê7 ho2(6)tian1, si6(7)mih4 ue7 m6(7)-ho2(6)tian1, nê5?
王：汝 覺得 是乜 話 好聽，是乜 話 唔好聽，ne？
Which languages do you find pleasant to hear, and which unpleasant?
Y: ua⁵² bĩ³³ lɯ²⁵ tsik² kai¹¹ kou⁵² sɯ¹¹ lɯ⁵² tĩã³³
Y: Ua2 bin1 le2(6) zig8(4)gai5(7) gou3(2)se6(7) le2 tian1.
野：我 編 汝 一個 故事 汝 聽。
Let me tell you a story.
bin1- Hokkien pronunciation
ua⁵² tsi⁵² tsuŋ³³ kʰia²⁵ to¹¹ tʰai¹¹ teŋ⁵²
Ua2 zi2zung1 kia6 do6(7) tai5(7)dêng2.
我 這陣 徛 在 台登。
I’m standing up on the stage right now.
ua⁵² a³³ si¹¹ muŋ¹¹ lau¹¹ kʰa³³ tsik² kai¹¹ pʰeŋ¹¹ iu⁵² / i³³ lo⁵⁵ tsiaʔ² tsiu⁵² la³³
Ua2 a1-si6(7) mung7 lao5(7)ka1 zig8(4)gai5(7) peng5(7)iu2, i1 lo5 ziah8(4)ziu2 la1.
我 a是 問 樓跤 一個 朋友，伊 囉 食酒 la。
Let’s say I have a friend down below – he’s drinking wine.
ua⁵² muŋ¹¹ i³³ / lɯ⁵² si¹¹ miʔ² naŋ⁵⁵ a³³ / lɯ⁵² lo²⁵ tso⁵⁵ ni⁵⁵ a³³
Ua2 mung7 i1, le2 si6(7)mih8(4) nang5 a1, le2 lo6 zo3(5)ni5 a1?
我 問 伊，汝 是乜 儂 a，汝 囉 做呢 a？
I ask him: Where are you from? What are you doing?
i³³ tã²¹³ / bo⁵⁵ / ua⁵² lo²⁵ tsiaʔ2 tsiu⁵² a³³ / ã³³ ne³³ tsik2 muŋ¹¹ tsik2 tap2 e
i1 dan3: bho5, ua2 lo6 ziah8(4)ziu2 a1. An1nê1 zig8(4)-mung7 zig8(4)-dab4 ê.
伊 呾：無，我 囉 食酒 a。按呢 一問 一答 ê。
He’ll reply: No, I’m just having a drink. So, a question – an answer.
a¹¹ si¹¹ kɯŋ²⁵ taŋ³³ naŋ⁵⁵ ne⁵⁵ / tieʔ² zi¹¹ tsap2 kai¹¹ zi¹¹ / hi⁵² pue³³ tsiu⁵² tsiu¹¹ oi¹¹ sai²⁵ loʔ⁵
A7-si6(7) Geng2(6)dang1-nang5 nê5, diêh8(4) ri6(7)zab8(4) gai5(7) ri7, hi2-buê1 ziu2 ziu6(7) oi6(7)sai2(6) loh8.
A是 廣東儂 呢，着 二十 個 字，許杯 酒 就 會使 落。
If he’s Cantonese, then it’ll be twenty words before he can down that drink.
W: u¹¹ ĩã⁵²
W: U6(7) ian2?
王：有 影？
Are you serious?
Y: … ue¹¹ ho²⁵ tĩã³³ / i³³ e¹¹ sĩã³³ nɯŋ⁵² la³³ / kɯŋ²⁵ taŋ³³ ue¹¹ kie⁵² tso⁵² tẽ²⁵
Y: … uê7 ho2(6) tian1, i1 ê7 sian1 neng2 la1. Geng2(6)dang1-uê7 giê3(2)zo3(2) “té”
野：⋯⋯ 語 好聽，伊 e 聲 軟 啦。廣東話 叫作 “té” …
… is pleasant-sounding, its sounds are pliant. In Cantonese it’s called “te.” …
W: lɯ⁵² tã⁵² lai¹¹ tʰĩã³³
W: Le2 dan3(2) lai5(7) tian1.
王：汝 呾 來聽
Why don’t you say it for us to hear.
Y: na / lɯ⁵² tʰĩã³³ / kɯŋ²⁵ taŋ³³ naŋ⁵⁵ / tsik² mɯŋ¹¹ tsik² tap² le
Y: Na, le2 tian1. Geng2(6)dang1-nang5, zig8(4)-meng7 zig8(4)-dab4 lê.
野：Na， 汝聽。廣東儂，一門 一答 le
Well, listen. Cantonese, question and answer.
W: zi¹¹ tsap² kai¹¹ zi¹¹
W: Ri6(7)zab8(4) gai5(7) ri7.
王：二十 個 字。
Twenty words.
Y: zi¹¹ tsap² kai¹¹ zi¹¹ / tsĩã⁵² ho²⁵ tsiaʔ² tsiu⁵²
Y: Ri6(7)zab8(4) gai5(7) ri7, zian2 ho2(6) ziah8(4)ziu2.
野：二十 個 字，正 好 食酒。
Twenty words, before he may drink.
(C) Léih haih mātyéh yàhn?
【粵】你 係 乜嘢 人？
Where are you from?
W: ŋou¹¹ kai¹¹ zi¹¹
W: Ngou6(7) gai5(7) ri7
王：五個 字。
Five words.
Y: (C) Ngóh haih Gwóngdùng yahn
野：【粵】我 係 廣東人。
I’m a Cantonese person.
W: tsap² kai¹¹ zi¹¹
W: Zab8(4) gai5(7) ri7.
王：十個 字
Ten words.
Y: (C) Haih sih jouh mātyéh？
【粵】係 事 做 乜嘢？
What are you doing?
W: tsap² ŋou²⁵
W: Zab8(4)ngou6
王：十五
Fifteen.
Y: (C) Haih sih yám jáu jē!
【粵】係 事 飲酒 啫！
I’m having a cup of wine!
ho²⁵ tʰĩã³³ / puk⁵ kue²¹³ zi¹¹ tsap² kai¹¹ zi¹¹ / ua⁵² pe²⁵ tsiaʔ² tsiu⁵²
Ho2(6) tian1. Bug4(8)guê3 ri6(7)zab8(4) gai5(7) ri7, ua2bê6 ziah8(4)ziu2.
好聽。不過 二十 個 字，我爸 食酒。
How mellifluous! After twenty words, Daddy can drink.
W: si²⁵ / tã⁵² ue¹¹ ne³³ / kaʔ⁵ eŋ¹¹ tsĩ³³ pẽ¹¹ iẽ¹¹ / tieʔ² ãĩ⁵² sẽ³³ / ãĩ⁵² tak² i²¹³
W: Si6. Dan3(2)-uê7 nê1, gah4(8) êng7zin1 bên7iên7, diêh8(4) ain3(2) sên1, ain3(2) dag8(4)i3.
王：是。呾話 ne，甲 用錢 平樣，着 愛 X，愛 達意。
kĩẽ²¹³ lɯ⁵² kai¹¹ i⁵² sɯ³³ ne / a¹¹ si¹¹ kʰeŋ³³ tsiu³³ naŋ⁵⁵ tsiu¹¹ kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³
Giê3 le2-gai5(7) i3(2)se1 nê1, a7-si6(7) Kêng1ziu1-nang5 ziu6(7) gang2(6)duan1.
叫 汝個 意思 ne，a是 瓊州儂 就 簡單。
According to your reasoning, it’s Hainanese people who are the simplest.
Kêngziu – Qióngzhōu, another name for Hainan
Y: kui²⁵ kai¹¹ zi¹¹
Y: Gui2(6)-gai5(7) ri7?
野：幾個 字？
How many words?
W: tsap² lak² kai¹¹ zi¹¹
W: Zab8(4)lag8(4) gai5(7) ri7.
王：十六 個字。
Sixteen words.
Y: oi²⁵ a¹¹ boi²⁵
Y: Oi6 a7-bhoi6?
野：會 a𠁞？
Are you sure?
W: oi²⁵ / tsik² muŋ¹¹ tsik² tap²
W: Oi6. Zig8(4)-mung7 zig8(4)-dab4.
王：會。一問 一答。
Sure; one question, one answer.
Y: lai⁵⁵ / tã⁵² lai¹¹ tĩã³³
Y: Lai5, dan3(2) lai5(7) tian1
野：來，呾 來 聽。
Come, let us hear it.
W: (Q) Lu di-mi nang?
王：【瓊】汝 底乜 人？
Where are you from?
Y: si²¹³
Y: Si3
野：四
Four.
W: (Q) Ua Geng-thiu nang
王：【瓊】我 瓊州 人
I am from Hainan.
Y: poiʔ²
Y: Boih4
野：八
Eight.
W: (Q) Lu do mi-di?
王：【瓊】汝 在 乜底？
What are you doing?
(Q) Gua jiak-jiu le!
【瓊】我 食酒 le！
I am drinking wine!
Y: puk⁵ kue²¹³ ne³³ / hau¹¹ m¹¹ kau²¹³ kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³
Y: Bug4(8)guê3 nê1, hao5(7) m6(7)-gao3 gang2(6)duan1.
野：不過 呢，豪 唔夠 簡單。
However, that’s not as simple as it gets.
W: u¹¹ tsai⁵² kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³ kai⁵⁵
W: U6(7) zai3(2) gang2(6)duan1 gai5?
王：有 再 簡單 個？
You mean there’s something even more concise?
Y: u²⁵ / lau²⁵ sik⁵ tã²¹³ / hok⁵ kieŋ²¹³ naŋ⁵⁵ le³³ / zu²⁵ keŋ³³ kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³
Y: U6… Lao2(6)sig8 dan3, Hog4(8)giêng3-nang5 lê1, ru2(6)gêng1 gang2(6)duan1.
野：有⋯⋯ 老實 呾，福建儂 le，愈敬 簡單。
Sure… to be honest, Hokkien people are even more to the point.
W: kui²⁵ kai¹¹ zi¹¹
W: Gui2(6)-gai5(7) ri7?
王：幾個 字？
How many words?
Y: tsap² zi¹¹ kai¹¹ zi¹¹
Y: Zab8(4)ri7-gai5(7) ri7.
野：十二個 字。
Twelve words.
W: hok⁵ kieŋ²¹³ naŋ⁵⁵ ne³³ / i kʰiaŋ¹¹ zo⁵² sɯ¹¹ ne³³ / i³³ tsiu¹¹ si¹¹ ãĩ²¹³ ziu¹¹ ãĩ²¹³ / mai²¹³ tsiu¹¹ mai²¹³ / suak² tsiu¹¹ suak² kai⁵⁵ / tsap² zi¹¹ kai¹¹ zi¹¹
W: Hog4(8)giêng3-nang5 nê1, i1 kiang5(7) zo3(2) se6(7) nê1, i1 ziu6(7)si6(7) ain3-ziu6(7)-ain3, mai3-ziu6(7)-mai3, suag4-ziu6(7)-suag4 gai5. Zab8(4)ri6(7)-gai5(7) ri7.
王：福建儂 ne，伊 強 做事 ne，伊 就是 愛就愛，勿就勿，算就算 個。十二個 字。
When Hokkien people do things, their attitude is “do it or leave it.” Twelve words.
(H) Sián-mih lâng?
啥物 儂？
Where you from?
(H) Hok-kiàn lâng.
福建 儂。
I am Hokkien.
(H) Chhòng sián-mih?
創 啥物？
What do you?
(H) Óa jiak-jiu.
我 食酒。
I drink wine.
Y: koʔ⁵ m¹¹ kau⁵² kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³ / tie¹¹ tsiu³³ naŋ⁵⁵ siaŋ¹¹ kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³
Y: Goh4(8) m6(7)-gao3(2) gang2(6)duan1. Diê5(7)ziu1-nang5 siang6(7) gang2(6)duan1.
野：閣 唔夠 簡單。潮州儂 上 簡單。
That’s not the least of it. Teochew people are even more concise.
W: kui²⁵ kai⁵⁵
W: Gui2(6)-gai5?
王：幾個？
How many?
Y: tso⁵² kʰaŋ³³ kʰue¹¹ tsʰeŋ³³ tsʰeŋ³³ kʰi⁵² kʰi²¹³ / poiʔ⁵ kai¹¹ zi¹¹ / a¹¹ mai⁵² tã²¹³ tsiu⁵² a³³ / liam⁵⁵ tsiu²⁵ pue³³ tso⁵² tsik² pai⁵² tʰuŋ³³ loʔ² kʰɯ²¹³
Y: Zo3(2) kang1kuê7 cêng1cêng1-ki3(2)ki3, boih4(8)-gai5(7) ri7, a7 mai3(2) dan3 ziu2 a1, liam5 ziu2(6)buê1 zo3(2) zig8(4)bai2 tung1 loh8(4)ke3.
野：做 工課 清清氣氣，八個 字，也 莫 呾 酒 a，連 酒杯 做 一拜 吞 落去。
They do things clean and simple. Eight words. Not just drinking wine, they’ll even swallow the cup with it.
W: poiʔ⁵ kai¹¹ zi¹¹ tso⁵² ni¹¹ oi²⁵
W: Boih4(8)-gai5(7) ri7 zo3(2)ni5(7) oi6?
王：八個 字 做呢 會？
How can you do it in eight words?
Y: lɯ⁵² tʰĩã³³
Y: Le2 tian1:
野：汝 聽：
Just listen:
ti¹¹ tiaŋ³³ / si¹¹ ua⁵² / tso⁵² ni⁵⁵ / tsiaʔ² tsiu⁵²
Di7diang1? – Si6(7) ua2. – Zo3(2)ni5? – Ziah8(4)ziu2.
哋𫢗 – 是 我 – 做呢？ – 食酒。
Who’s that? – It’s me – What’s up? – Drinking wine.
tieʔ⁵ m¹¹ tieʔ⁵
Diêh8-m6(7)-diêh8?
着唔着？
Am I right?
W: puk⁵ kue²¹³ m¹¹ kau⁵² kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³ / aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ naŋ⁵⁵ zu²⁵ keŋ³³ kaŋ²⁵ tũã³³
W: Bug4(8)guê3 m6(7)-gao3(2) gang2(6)duan1. Ang5(7)mo5(7)-nang5 ru2(6)gêng1 gang2(6)duan1.
王：不過 唔夠 簡單。紅毛儂 愈敬 簡單。
That’s not the most concise. Westerners are the most to the point.
Y: kui²⁵ kai¹¹ zi¹¹
Y: Gui2(6)-gai5(7) ri7?
幾個 字？
How many words?
W: aŋ¹¹ mo¹¹ naŋ⁵⁵ loŋ²⁵ tsoŋ⁵² si¹¹ miʔ5 kai¹¹ lo²⁵ si¹¹ “law-by-law” / a³³ ne³³ tsiu¹¹ si¹¹ a³³ ne³³ / boi¹¹ uak⁵ kai¹¹ la³³ / so²⁵ ĩ⁵² i³³ tsiaʔ² tsiu⁵² pi²⁵ naŋ⁵² mẽ⁵² / si⁵² kai¹¹ zi¹¹ tsiu¹¹ oi¹¹ sai⁵²
W: Ang5(7)mo5(7)-nang5 long2(6)zong2 si6(7)mih4(8)gai5(7) lo6 si6(7) “law-by-law”, a1-nê1 ziu6(7)si6(7) a1-nê1, bhoi6(7) uag4(8) gai5(7) la1. So2(6)in2 i1 ziah8(4)ziu2 bi2(6) nang2 mên2. Si3(2)-gai5(7) ri7 ziu6(7) oi6(7)-sai2.
王：紅毛儂 攏總 是乜個 囉是 “law-by-law”，按呢 就是 按呢，𠁞 斡 個 啦。所以 伊 食酒 比 俺 猛。四個 字 就 會使。
Westerners do everything “law-by-law”. It is what it is, no two ways about it. They’re faster than us at drinking. In four words.
Y: oi¹¹ sai⁵² a³³ boi²⁵
Y: Oi6(7)sai2 a1-bhoi6?
會使 a𠁞？
Are you sure?
W: Easy. si⁵² kai¹¹ zi¹¹ / lɯ⁵² tʰĩã³³ / si⁵² kai⁵⁵
W: Easy. Si3(2)-gai5(7) ri7, le2 tian1, si3(2)-gai5.
Easy. 四個 字，汝 聽，四個。
Easy. Four words. Just you listen, four:
Who? – Me! – What? – Drink!